…of betrayal and healing, of agony and hope
I’ve written my story in five parts. I share this because I know that while each couple’s story of infidelity is unique, there are overarching similarities as well, and I hope that sharing my truth will help you feel less alone.
In early 2014, I was diagnosed for the second time with, and began treatment for, major depression. The medication I took was slow to bring about the changes I’d hoped for, but eventually the fog began to lift and I was ready to re-engage with life. I had big plans, you see.
I wanted to have a vegetable garden. I wanted to get healthy – eat nutritiously, be active, and lose weight. I wanted to declutter and organize my house, and make it feel more like a home. I wanted to be a better parent to my three kids. And, I wanted to save my failing marriage.
But my husband had checked out of the marriage, except he didn’t tell me. My D-Day was in February 2015, and it crushed me. I’ve cried more tears in the last two years than in all the rest of my 40-something years combined. I’ve experienced PTSD (or, as it’s sometimes called, PISD – post-infidelity stress disorder). The excruciating pain from all of it has been something I never could have imagined.
Recovering from betrayal is a long and arduous journey filled with agonizing grief, anger, pain, sadness, and despair, but from which we can emerge, perhaps not unscathed but still whole and stronger than before. Hope and renewal are possible, whether you stay and reconcile with a remorseful and committed spouse, or divorce.
I also have a separate blog where I talk about trying to put together my life in this post-infidelity world, especially when it was somewhat disorganized and messy to begin with.